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Texas Select
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FAQs
Q: Why are y'all recording a radio show?
A: Because we're cool. Q: Is this real? Do you have a recording studio? A: In a sense. We have a room, six mics, two computers, an analog mixer, some folding chairs and lots of plastic cups from Dickey's BBQ. Q: How often do you do a show? A: We like to keep our audience guessing. Q: Do you have a podcast I can subscribe to? A: Yes! For now, you can find us on iTunes. Eventually, we'll have some buttons on here for you to click, or something. Q: Downloading the segments can be really slow. A: We know. It's being served off of a Dell computer bought in 1999, under Rhylan's desk in the Ted Jones Broadcasting Center.
Update! We're hosted on the real Internet now. It's faster. Promise. Q: Dang, y'all sound like a buncha hicks. A: So do you, phrasing your question like that. Q: Who is cooler: Mr. Miyagi or Ernest P. Worrell? A: We hold Ernest in high esteem, but noone is cooler than Mr. Miyagi. And we mean nobody. Q: Why can't I call in to the El Taco H Hotline? A: The motto of the El Taco H Hotline is, "Don't call us. We'll call you." Q: Why is it called the El Taco H Hotline? A: El Taco H is a tiny taqueria in Grapevine. They sell $1 tacos, along with really good burritos and tortas. At one time they were open 24 hours a day , which you would find hard to believe if you saw the place. They have orange, homemade hot sauce that is so hot it even makes Rhylan think twice. We have certifiable proof that El Taco H is a cool place to eat, because Fundy and John don't like it very much. And we have no idea why it's called El Taco H. It is a mystery. Q: What is a Storm's Special? A: A glorious triple-meat hamburger. Storm's has a location in Hamilton, and it's been featured on the Food Network as one of the best places to get a burger. Brian and Rhylan grew up within walking distance of the place. Rhylan is so loyal that he is abstaining from eating other places' burgers for 2006. Almost. The essence of the Storm's Special comes from grilling the buns and using three extremely thin patties to make a 2/3 pound burger, rather than one huge chunk of meat. The additional surface area increases the grease to meat ratio. The Special also comes with fries. Prior to 1998, you could get a Special with a large drink for under $5. Now, it's almost $6, but it's still the best buy in Texas. Q: Why does John like Lubbock so much? A: Shhh. Just go with it. Q: Do people actually listen to this? A: Yes. Please refer to the answer to question #1. Q: Do y'all remember Bill Swarski's Superfans? A: Yes. They should be enshrined in the Smithsonian. Q: Who would win in a fight between Chuck Norris and Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago? A: Froman. With an assist from Ditka. Q: Is John really running for President in 2032? A: He says he is. We all know it really boils down to whether or not Rhylan has time to write all his speeches for him. Q: Hey Fundy, why don't you talk as much as the other guys? A: <shrugs> Q: Why is the show called Texas Select? A: It's a funny story that you wouldn't think is funny. It's also a side reference to the fact that we're not "authentic" but still provide the folks with more than enough entertainment. Q: Hico, Texas is a cool place. Did you know Billy the Kid was from there? A: Hico represents everything that is wrong in this world. Q: Hey, my Grandma is from Hico. A: Well, tell her we're sorry. Q: Can I be a guest on Texas Select? A: Sure. If you know where to find the Ted Jones Broadcasting Center, just knock on the door. Q: What is the Ted Jones Broadcasting Center? A: Rhylan's office in his house. He sets up the recording equipment, and it's transformed. Ted Jones was a Hamilton coaching insitution in previous generations. He used to say, "don't worry, you'll be aiiiiiiight." Q: What is the Corby Larance-Bubba Sharp Academy for Sports Studies? A: The CLBSA is a state of mind. Corby and Bubba taught us many things in the '90s. Bubba was particularly instrumental in John learning how to put a car in park. Corby taught us that sometimes, you just have to declare, "I ain't touchin' it!" Q: Why does Brian think 'turd' is spelled 'terd'? A: Because he is weird. Q: Who is Tangent Man? A: He's your best friend. Your best friend, my man. 
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 highway377 . com | 09 . 22 . 2006
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